I wish I could write with clarity, incisiveness and direction. Right now I feel like a confused and raving geriatric! Anyway, this post is my attempt to answer a friend’s question of why I didn’t blog about personal matters
I first started blogging in October, 2008, when I went off to India and wanted a means of telling friends and family back home what I was up to. I just related stuff about daily life, what I saw, what I experienced, in broad terms. I didn’t ever talk about personal things in any detail – about missing my son and daughter, the loneliness, emotions – the blog was never intended for that. But just because I didn’t write about them didn’t mean they didn’t matter to me desperately, or that I didn’t think about them all the time, or didn’t experience them at all. It was just that I never felt it appropriate for an impersonal blog to express private things. Anyway, I never felt confident I could ever express them adequately or unambiguously. And, to be brutal, it was no one else’s business.
Other things can’t be said on blogs either. Stuff like suspicions, conjectures, rumours, criticisms of the behaviour, judgement or abilities of individuals or organisations you work closely with. Subjective things. The way they are viewed depends on who’s doing the viewing, their confidence in their own judgement and where their moral lines are drawn. The outcome could potentially be disastrous, not just to the writer or the reader, but to others and whole communities. Maybe there’s no one to turn to, to externalise your thoughts, but blogging isn’t a substitute. Sometimes you need to stay quiet, to sit back, take stock, work things out for yourself and hope you’ve got it right.